People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt.
Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium;unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach.
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
You can’t say that civilization don’t advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
I was just thinking, if it is really religion with these nudist colonies, they sure must turn atheists in the wintertime.
Things ain’t what they used to be and probably never was.
Too many people spend money they earned..to buy things they don’t want..to impress people that they don’t like.
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
– Will Rogers
“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.