I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Woody Allen

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead not sick, not wounded dead.

Woody Allen

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

Woody Allen

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said “No.”

Woody Allen

I didn’t know he was dead; I thought he was British.

Woody Allen

To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.

Woody Allen

Some guy hit my fender and I said “be fruitful and multiply” but not in those words.

Woody Allen

I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen

I’m going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I’m going to Lourdes.

Woody Allen

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Woody Allen

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.

Woody Allen

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Woody Allen

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Woody Allen

Life is a concentration camp. You’re stuck here and there’s no way ou t and.

Woody Allen

Comments :
We tried for you and now you can rate this page:
1 star rate 2 star rate 3 star rate 4 star rate 5 star rate ( All votes: 1, Average 4 of 5)
 

Direct url http://wowsayings.com/woody-allen-quotes.html